From: Arturo Magidin Subject: If I ever let a fundie... Date: 26 Mar 1994 23:31:17 GMT If I Ever Let A Fundie Into Alt.Atheism (sung to the tune of "If I Ever Let a Woman into my Life" form 'My Fair Lady') I'm just an ordinary poster who desires nothing more than just an ordinary chance to discuss exactly what the newsgroup's for and do precisely what he wants. An average a.a'er am I of no eccentric whim who likes to live and think free of fallacies doing whatever he thinks is best for him. I'm just ... an ordinary a.a'er. But! Let a fundie into a.a and our serenity is through! He'll redefine atheism trying to make it a religion, then go on to the entrhalling fun of redefining you! Let a fundie into a.a and you're up against a wall. Make a point and you will find he had another quote in mind and so rather than admit he's wrong he'll say something else which no one likes at all. You want to talk of logic, or reason, he only wants to talk of God. You give him a reference for a clue he answers by quoting from his Holy Book. Let a fundie into a.a and you invite eternal strife. Let them read their silly books for those anxious little minds. I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let a fundie into a.a. I'm a very gentle poster. Even tempered and good natured whom you never hear complain. Who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein. A patient atheist am I, down to my fingertips. The sort who never could, or would, let an insulting post escape his terminal. A very gentle a.a'er. But! Let a fundie into a.a, and patience hasn't got a chance. He will bash you with advise, your reply will be concise and he won't listen and keep posting what he wants! We are posters of grace and polish, who never flamed above a well-done. Now all at once we're using language that would make an alt.flame-er blush! Let a fundie into a.a, and you're plunging in a knife! Let the other theists there keep a leash around their necks. They prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition than to ever let a clue into their brains. I'm a quiet posting man, who prefers to spend the evenings thinking logically at every turn, who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb. A pensive poster am I of philosophic joys: who likes to meditate, think, free from the fundie's mad, inhuman posts. A quiet posting man. But! Let a fundie into a.a and our sabbatical is through! In a tripe that never ends come an army of posts IN CAPS come to insult and to shout at us and to tell us what the matter is with us! He'll have a booming boisterous posting full of out-of-context quotes; He'll makes as much sense as Stanley, which makes of course no sense at all! Let a fundie into a.a let a fundie into a.a [Stanley: "Atheism is a Religion that postulates a God..."] [Booby: "Peace..."] [Bill: "I no longer post there because..."] [Gina: "I have prayed to God to crash the internet..."] [Stanley: "Christianity is not a Religion..."] [All together: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH"] We should never let a fundie into a.a ====================================================================== "It not denial. I'm just very selective about what I accept as reality." --- Calvin ("Calvin and Hobbes") ====================================================================== Arturo Magidin magidin@uclink.berkeley.edu magidin@math.berkeley.edu