Red Iguana Dawn

Prelude (1 of 5): What If?

From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Newsgroups: alt.atheism.satire
Subject: PRELUDE TO RED IGUANA DAWN (1 of 5) What if?
Date: 14 Mar 1994 14:54:35 GMT
Message-ID: <2m1trbINN6pq@CS.UTK.EDU>

Here's post number one. It has the wondrous "WhatIf" machine in it.

Re: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

In article <andyer.683.2D629811@zebu.cvm.msu.edu>
andyer@zebu.cvm.msu.edu (DYER ANGELA) writes: 
[...]
|> Please respond to a post.....
          ^^^^^^^

Publius is a one-way street. He is either living in a one-person world, posting stream-of-consciousness like some sort of Faulkneresque Darl, or he is so insecure he has to feed his ego by ignoring us and pretending his rudeness makes him somehow superior.

If Jesus had ignored the Pharisees, what would have happenned, Publius? Let's take a trip in the WhatIf Machine(tm) and find out...

(Don't tell anybody about this machine. I'm working on it for my dissertation.)

<zzzzzzzzT! crash boom!>

Don't mind the smoke -- er, it's normal... probably. Ah, we've arrived. Look, there's Pub- er, Jesus right over there! Let's listen, shall we?

Pharisees: Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act! Now Moses commanded that such women be stoned. But what do you say?

Jesus: Atheism is a Religion. It postulates --

Pharisees: What? What are you talking about?

Jesus: -- a God whose Nature is the composite of the workings of the Physical Universe.

Pharisees: The woman, teacher; stone her or not?

Jesus: You want me to respond, but NO! I will not allow you to feed your Egos on me! Just accept that atheism is a Religion! Atheism is a Religion! It is. You will have to accept it sooner or later, so why not now?

Pharisees: [aside] Stone the woman. This guy's raving.

Peter: Lord, how can I follow you if you aren't able to answer the Pharisees? You said I could not follow where you went... but I didn't know you were going crazy!

Jesus: Poor lepers need love. Those who eat bread with me need love. People I inadvertently bring back from the dead for no good reason need love...

Desciples: Let's get outa here. A crowd's forming...

<zzzap!>

Well, we're back. Hmm. I wonder if there's a lesson to be learned from our little trip? Nah, probably not.

[...]
|> ANGEE

-- 
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
  |                                            |
  | The mysterious UNIX paradigm:              |
  |                                            |
  |   "No design is better than a bad design." |
  |                             - Ken Thompson |
  |____________________________________________|

Red Iguana Dawn Prev Next