Red Iguana Dawn

Prelude (2 of 5): Publius' Head

From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Newsgroups: alt.atheism.satire
Subject: PRELUDE TO RED IGUANA DAWN (2 of 5) Publius' Head
Date: 14 Mar 1994 14:57:51 GMT
Message-ID: <2m1u1fINNbut@CS.UTK.EDU>

Here's number two. We take a trip into the twisted psyche of a net.loon in this one.

Re: PROCESS OF EXCLUSION

Bill stuart reposts Publius...
|> In a previous article, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) says:
|> 
|> >  Before long we will come to the part that the double-domed Gurus

Double-domed? Is that like dromedary? I can't remember which camel has one hump, and which two. Maybe Publius means "doomed"? Later, we'll take a trip into Publius' Head(tm) to find out for sure...

|> >  of the Atheist Religion dread: The part where we will have to
|> >  discuss the Bottom Line - the "corrosive" effect of Atheism 
|> >  on Society.

"This is obviously some new meaning of the word 'discuss' of which I was not previously aware."

The only one who dreads discussing anything here is you, Publius.

|> >  But there still is some confusion about the definition of "Religion".
|> >  I said:"Religion- A commitment or devotion to that which is held
|> >  to be of ultimate importance."

Well, if you said it. How about if I say "Religion- A system for destroying independent thinking and replacing it with the edicts of those who control the dogma?" No? How about "Religion- A mechanism for enslaving the masses in this life by promising reward in some postulated 'afterlife'?" There. I knew we could agree on that. Do you still have any confusion about religion?

I like this system. It reminds me of Popeye cartoons.

"I will gladly repay you after you are dead for carrying out my whims for the rest of your life."

Now that's a system we can all get behind!

[blah blah...]

What could be going on in Publius' Head? Let's use my Amazing ShrinkRay (I've just got to patent this thing) and find out.

<zzz!> Ouch! Okay, my little Shrinkies(tm), we're now even smaller than Publius' brain, and have been transported inside it by a cleverly designed plot line. Let's look around, shall we?

Ah, a well-organized place, too. All the untidy thoughts are over there in the Unthinkable Closet, well locked away where they won't hurt anybody. The whole place is paved over, to prevent the growth of the Unwanted Free Thought. Over there we can see some undigested Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Follow me. Oof! Watch your head! We're going further in! It seems to get narrower as we move toward the center!

Hey, look! A crack in the pavement, and a tiny leaf of thought struggling through. Let's check this out!

"Maybe my first grade teacher didn't want to marry me because I was mean to animals!"

Uh, ignore that, please. Well now, it is getting much harder to move, and much darker. Some of these neurons have not been used in... er, well ever. Over there we can see the Re-Definition Generator, connected through those many lines to the Mozumderizer. Quite efficient, no?

Through this door lies the inner sanctum. Ooh, look! It has a picture of a camel labelled "atheist" on it! That explains some things.

Here it is, the core of Publius' brain. The Fixation Generator. It seems to be connected to the Conceptualizer, but it doesn't look like the Conceptualizer is working. Ah, it's not even plugged in! If I can find an outlet, maybe I can get this thing working again...

Nobody seems to be using this Logic Analyzer, so I'll just unplug it and use it's outlet.

<zzzt!> Oops! Out shrink time is up! Maybe next time...

-- 
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
  |                                            |
  | The mysterious UNIX paradigm:              |
  |                                            |
  |   "No design is better than a bad design." |
  |                             - Ken Thompson |
  |____________________________________________|

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