Red Iguana Sunset
Episode 3: Is God Genetic? (part 2)
From: sprowell@cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA SUNSET, Episode 3: IS GOD GENETIC? (Part 2)
Date: 25 Apr 1995 20:59:45 GMT
Message-ID: <SPROWELL.95Apr25165945@cs.utk.edu>
[In the previous episode we learned that the Evil, Wicked Atheist
Yobbos were planning to FOREVER ELIMINATE all life-oriented
religions by unleashing the Fire of the Gods, a genetically-engineered
retro-virus which eliminates the Magic Spiritual
Discernment gene. All the Disgusting and Revolting Atheists need
now is a Victim. They have chosen none other than our Hero and
General All-Around Nice Guy, Publius!]
[Luckily Our Hero, the Fire-Engine Red Iguana of Truth, has a spy
within the Evil Atheist Conspiracy. We join Pubilus and Ferret
Boy high above the earth in the PubeStation...]
[A communicator beeps.]
Ferret Boy: [Pressing answer button] Secret PubeStation, Ferret
Boy speaking.
Voice: Ferret Boy, it is I, Michael Courtney!
Ferret Boy: Oh, hi! Say, where did you go, anyway?
Michael Courtney's Voice from Communicator: I have been Among
Wicked and Unclean Atheist Rabble, in the Very Nest of the
Queen of Heaven. I have something to report. The Atheists
have a virus which will turn all Children of God into Natural
Men. Tell Publius. They must be stopped!
Ferret Boy: Okey-dokey! [Turns off communicator, then slowly
realizes that this is a Bad Thing.] Publius! Did you hear
that! The Evil Atheists (spit spit) are going to spread the
Disease that is Atheism throughout the world!
> You've got this backwards. What makes for an Atheist is the total absence
> of a gene that makes it possible for a person to understand that
> which is "spiritually discerned".
Ferret Boy: Uh, so you mean they are going to "cure" the
disease of religion?
[Publius sighs heavily.]
> Here is how Paul put it in his 'Letter to the Corinthians:
> "Natural Man (Atheists) receiveth not the things of
> the Spirit of God, they are foolishness unto him.
> Neither can he know them because they are
> Spiritually discerned."
Ferret Boy: Oh, it makes sense now.
[We now journey to the Hated and Detested Island of Logis, where
the Evil Autonomous Men come and go as they Please. We see Angela
Dyer, Xian, and John Kress standing in the Scrofulous (but clean)
Atheist Kitchen.]
Angie: I wonder if this "fire of the gods" thing is a good
idea, Xian.
Xian: What do you mean? Of course it is a good idea! It
is a great idea!
John: The only great ideas come from the Bible.
Angie and Xian: Huh?
John: That's from, uh, Twilight of the Idols.
Angie: You heard John. He agrees with me.
Xian: What? The only good theist is a disengened theist!
[Clark Adams and Jason McBrayer enter the room.]
Clark: Howdy, what's going on?
Angie: Xian is being a bit testy.
Xian: Angie is too nice.
Clark: [Clears throat] Now, now, you two, let's be nice...
Jason: So you agree with Angie? You don't even know what they
are talking about!
Clark: Uh, well...
Angie: It's two against one, Xian!
Xian: Are you sure you're an evil atheist?
Angie: Yes, I'm just a nice evil atheist.
[John Kress chuckles silently to himself as he crawls into the
cabinets under the sink. What could Kress be up to?]
[Meanwhile, miles above the earth, the communicator in the
Magnificent PubeStation beeps. Publius, defender of the True,
Unperverted Ideals of Madison, answers.]
Disembodied voice from Communicator: Publius! Is that you?
I have confused the atheists! Ah, the home base of the Queen
of Heaven is in disarray! They are divided, and a house
divided cannot stand! Their reality is crumbling!
> Atheists are easily identified by the fact they they are totally
> convinced that the only 'Reality' there can possibly be is what is
> perceived by their physical senses and processed by the computer
> that occupies the space between their two ears. PUBLIUS
Disembodied voice from communicator: Yes! That is wh-
[Publius thumbs the button on the communicator and turns back to
a Secret Console, which displays an aerial map of the Vile Island of
Logis, Abode of the Damned!]
Ferret Boy: Publius? I don't understand this plan of yours...
> Blame your problem on 'Modern Education'. PUBLIUS
Ferret Boy: Oh, yeah. Damn that Education! [spit, spit]
[Is Publius' plan coming together? Will these episodes ever get
funnier? Will Stacy finish writing this before he leaves the
country in May? Will there be a next episode to answer some of
these questions? Ah, who cares...]
--
-- _Stacy J. Prowell___________________http://www.cs.utk.edu/~sprowell_
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