Red Iguana Dawn
Episode 12: Born-Again 'FAQ' - Question Four
From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA DAWN, Episode 12: BORN-AGAIN 'FAQ'-QUESTION FOUR
Date: 14 Mar 1994 20:16:33 GMT
Message-ID: <2m2gn1INN6h1@CS.UTK.EDU>
[We find Publius, Champion of All that is Good;
his sidekick, Ferret Boy the Ever Faithful; and
Knowledgius Objectivus, Reformed Atheist God in
the clutches of the Evil Atheists.]
Stacy: I see you have all been strapped into the
Free Thought Enforcer. Soon you be forced to
think Free Thought and become Autonomous Men,
individuals exactly like us. What have you to
say for yourselves before I throw the switch?
Ferret Boy: I can't believe you are all so Evil!
Stacy: We are Hard Atheists...
Dan: ...we prefer to think of ourselves as
"Igneous Atheists," or Atheists of the Rock.
Stacy: ...unlike the Soft Atheists...
Dan: ...we prefer to think of them as
"Sedimentary Atheists," or Atheists of the
Gunk.
Stacy: Hrumph! Now if Dan will quit interrupting
me, I will get on with your Conversion!
In article <2kvipk$1kki@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
[Article Encheferized...]
|> * 'FEQ' - QOoESTIONS THET OoOoGHT TO BE ESKED - QOoESTION FOOoR *
Annette: Actually, that is kinda quaint.
|> QOoESTION: "Vhet is zee Stetoos ooff zee Ezeeeest Releegiun in zee USA?"
|> ENSVER: Ezeeeesm is noo zee Stete-a Releegiun ooff zee USA.
Ferret Boy: Publius! Now isn't the time for your
"Tough Questions for Obvious Answers" approach!
We have to get out of this Evil Free Thought
Enforcer!
Knowledgius: You are Atheists. You like to say
things like "There is No God," and "We Think
For Ourselves," and "Atheism is not a Religion."
But I have defined Religion for you.
RELIGION: Whatever I say it is.
You will be assimilated sooner or later. Just
accept it and I will go away. In my next
definitive statement, MUFFINS APLENTY, I will
tell you what you like to eat.
[All eyes turn to Knowledgius, but he says nothing
further.]
Dan: Look, Stacy, can we get on with this? I
promised your cat I meet her for lunch.
|> Thees ves
|> istebleeshed vhee zee Joosteeces ooff zee US Soopreme-a Cuoort buooght ze-
|> peetch thet vhee zee Fuoondeeng Fezeers seeed "Sepereshun ooff CHOoRCH
|> und Stete-a" zeey reelly meunt "Sepereshun ooff RELIGION und Stete-a",
|> in reel leeffe-a, un impusseebility.
Annette: Actually, this is kinda funny!
All: [Mocking laughter]
Ferret Boy: Knowledgius, you are our Last Hope!
Publius is incapable of stopping the Vile
Atheists! Help us!
|> - Zee Zeeulugeeuns ooff zee Ezeeeest
|> Releegiun hefeeng meunvheele-a cunned Emereecuns intu beleeefing thet
|> Ezeeeesm is "Sceeence-a" und nut "Releegiun", vere-a eble-a tu penetrete-
|> zee erea ooff Ilementery Idooceshun, essoored thet zee Soopreme-a Cuoort
|> vuoold keep zee oozeer Releegiuns et bey. - POoBLIOoS,it el.
|> Bork Bork Bork!
[Stacy throws a switch, and the Monstrous Free
Thought Enforcer humms to life!]
Stacy: I need a cup of coffee.
Dan: Me too. Besides, this is when the Bad
Guys always leave.
[The Atheists leave.]
[Will Knowledgius help Our Heroes? Will the
Viscious Free Thought Enforcer turn them into
Mindful Autonomous Men? And just why is
Knowledgius acting so wierd? Tune in next
time and see!]
--
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
| |
| The mysterious UNIX paradigm: |
| |
| "No design is better than a bad design." |
| - Ken Thompson |
|____________________________________________|
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