Red Iguana Dawn
Episode 14: Intermezzo (Part 2)
From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA DAWN, Episode 14: INTERMEZZO (Part 2)
Date: 14 Mar 1994 20:22:26 GMT
Message-ID: <2m2h22INN6h1@CS.UTK.EDU>
[Our Champions of Faith -- Publius, Ferret Boy,
and the reformed Knowledgius -- are trapped on
the island of Logis by the Vile Hard Atheists
and have been strapped into the Evil Free
Thought Enforcer. What will become of them?
IS THIS THE END?!?!?]
[Stacy and his cronies have left, after
switching on the Horrible Free Thought Enforcer.
Our Heroes have only seconds until the device
warms up and begins projecting the Evils of Free
Thought unconstrained by Holy Writ and Proper
Morality. Unfortunately, Publius has been
incapacitated by the Encheferizer, and can only
speak in mock-Sweedish. Ferret Boy has turned
to Knowledgius as their last hope...]
Knowledgius: I am unafraid. Free thought is not
mentioned in the Bible, therefore it does not
exist. Since the Bible discusses Jonah and the
whale as historical fact and not as allegory,
and therefore we see that if Jonah can survive
in the belly of a whale, or other large fish,
possibly bony, then we can survive in the belly
of the Atheist Base of Operations.
Ferret Boy: Ulp! But, uh, don't you think we
ought to escape, I mean, just to be doubly
sure?
In article <2l035o$5gq@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
[Article partly Encheferized...]
|> Teeme-a oooot!
Ferret Boy: Er, I don't think that is going to
work.
|> Let's relex. I'd leeke-a to talk about fun things and joke
|> about theengs thet hefe-a heppened in the month that seems
|> like a yeer -(to some).
Ferret Boy: I don't really think now is the time.
Hey, the Encheferizer seems to be wearing off!
Knowledgius: Time does not exist. I have defined
time for you...
TIME: That which does not exist.
Ah, ha! Now we see the logical fallacy that is
time. You Atheists with your Hot Dogs and Pete
Rose Calendars will soon know that your time is
up!
|> Alas, the sense of humor displayed
|> on 'alt.atheism' has been about on a par with that of
|> 'The New York Times' and the NEW 'New Yorker'. Have you
|> seen that lately? What a catastrophe!
[Ferret Boy squirms around in the straps, trying
to reach his pocket Anti-Nomologizer...]
Knowledgius: The New York Times relates to
Business, and since there is no Business but
the Lord's, the Founders of the New York Times
were Theists. Therefore the False Doctrine of
Seperation of Chruch and Media shall soon be
Exposed and pulled from behind the Skirts of
this so-called "Business."
|> Somehow, I can't get away from 'business'. But here is some
|> good news:There are only three more 'Questions'.
Knowledgius: Atheists fear questions because they
do not have a single source of truth from which
to draw, such as the Bible. They have many
different truths, such as Newtonian Mechanics,
General Relativity, Quantum Mechanics, and
Little Men in the Television. Soon their truths
shall be confounded by the Lord, as it was at
the tower of Babel. Bad news for them.
|> The bad news
|> is there will be a series of 'Commentaries'.
Knowledgius: Commentary is the tool of the sedate
mind and competent spirit. Debate is the tool
used by the dabblers in theoretical physics to
"prove" their heresies. Soon they will discover
that True Logic is nothing like their vile and
pretentious secular logic.
|> I'd like to
|> continue the discussions we've had by E-mail - in full view,
|> so to speak I'm trying to figure out how to do that and not be
|> inundated by the inanities and idiocies of the hecklers who
|> want to 'debate'. Any ideas? PUBLIUS
[Ferret Boy manages to slide his pocket Anti-
Nomologizer out of his pocket and, gripping it
firmly, points it toward the control panel of
the Free Thought Enforcer...]
Knowledgius: Simple... ignore them. They, being
Atheist Scum, do not deserve the courtesy of a
reply, even to say "I do not wish to discuss
this."
Ferret Boy: Hey, guys! I got my pocket Anti-
Nomologizer out! I can fry this Free Thought
Gizmo! [Pulls trigger... at exactly the same
second that the Free Thought Enforcer springs
to life!]
[The beam from the Anti-Nomologizer merges with
the energy of the Free Thought Enforcer, both
scrambling is circuits and forming a feedback loop.
Reality is torn asunder... and our Heroes are
plugged into it! What will happen? Tune in next
time and see!]
--
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
| |
| The mysterious UNIX paradigm: |
| |
| "No design is better than a bad design." |
| - Ken Thompson |
|____________________________________________|
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