Red Iguana Dawn

Episode 15: Idiocy?

From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA DAWN, Episode 15: Idiocy?
Date: 14 Mar 1994 20:24:10 GMT
Message-ID: <2m2h5aINN77r@CS.UTK.EDU>

[When last we left our Defender of All That Is Right, the wearer of the Red Iguana Suit and matching socks, the Mighty Publius, he, along with Ferret Boy and Knowledgius Objectivus, had been strapped into the evil Free Thought Enforcer by the Wicked, Wicked, Atheists. Ferret Boy had fired his pocked anti-nomologizer at the Free Thought Enforcer just as it came to life, and had created a feedback loop in the Vile Device of Disrepute. IS THIS FINALLY THE END? Let's see!]

Ferret Boy: <Oh, no>

[The thought "Oh, no" travels to the Free Thought Enforcer, mingles in the feedback loop with the anti-nomologizer, and returns across the wires as the thought "All ducks are red."]

Knowledgius: Not suprising. You only need to assume one contradiction to prove that!

Ferret Boy: <Ducks>

["Ducks" travells across the line, comes back as "Not all then neither some not many but few in the case of all or nothing."]

Ferret Boy: Hey, this isn't bad! It's kinda like reading McDowell.

Publius <publius@inca.gate.net> presumably wrote in email to Xian:
|> I thought I was being quite charitable when
|> I tossed the epithet at your collective bunck
|> that you all seem to have an easy familiarity
|> with - considering all the dung you threw at me.
|> 
|> Beyond that all I can add is Drop Dead!
|> 
|> Atheism IS a Religion, you know - PUBLIUS

[Publius' email travels acros the wires to the Free Thought Enforcer, where it is translated, folded, spindled, mutilated, and returns as "Turkey, Turkey, Turkey, Kibo, Kibo, Kibo, Beable, Beable, Beable." This is quite curious for two reasons. First, it is semantically identical to the original message (which is highly improbable) and second at that very moment several people were grepping their newsfeeds...]

Sedar: Turkey! Time to make an apperance and proclaim the truth to all who cannot work their killfiles!

Kibo: Huh? What the hell is Stacy doing putting words in my mouth? Should I ignore him? Perhaps I should consider it slander? Perhaps someone who knows DOS inside and out should tell him how to erase a file. Perhaps he just needs a pet.

[Ferret Boy is finally able to successfully aim his pocket anti-nomologizer at the straps binding him and press the trigger. The straps turn into alt.syntax.tactical, and run off and annoy other newsgroups. At last the author tires of this bland Usenet humor and returns to the plot just as Ferret Boy springs free of the Free Thought Enforcer.]

Ferret Boy: Ah ha! Now we can catch those Vile Atheist Scum off guard and Finish them off! [He releases Publius and Knowledgius, neither of whom seem adversely affected by the Free Thought Enforcer, which is now beginning to catch flame in the corner.]

[Our Heroes slip unnoticed out of the building...]

Ferret Boy: Well, what's our next move, O Mighty Red Lizard?

[Indeed, what is Publius' plan now? Tune in next time and find out!]

-- 
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
  |                                            |
  | The mysterious UNIX paradigm:              |
  |                                            |
  |   "No design is better than a bad design." |
  |                             - Ken Thompson |
  |____________________________________________|

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