Red Iguana Dawn

Episode 16:  No God - No Free Will

From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA DAWN, Episode 16: NO GOD - NO FREE WILL
Date: 14 Mar 1994 20:25:41 GMT
Message-ID: <2m2h85INN7br@CS.UTK.EDU>
[Our Heroes, Publius and Ferret Boy, the Incredible Defenders of Life-Oriented Religions and All That Is Really Groovy, have just escaped the Vile Atheist Free Thought Enforcer without even a scratch. Publius survived because his Superior Moral Stature allowed him to ignore all incoming mail. Ferret Boy because he has been well prepared by the daily practice of Believeing Numerous Impossible and Contradictory Things each day, and Knowledgius because he wasn't paying close enough attention.]

[However, Knowledgius is feeling slightly wobbly. He stumbles as he leaves the building... something is bothering him. He stumbles again and this time falls down...]

Ferret Boy:  Knowledgius Objectivus, are you alright?

Knowledgius:  No! No! I won't think, I won't!

Ferret Boy:  It's alright, we escaped the Free Thought Enforcer.

Knowledgius:  Beable! Beablebeablebeable! Don't you get it?

Ferret Boy:  Uh, no.

Knowledgius:  It's a thought! I had abandoned thought to save my life in the Pubemobile! Now I am starting to think again!

Ferret Boy:  Oh, Publius can fix that, can't you, O Great Iguana of the Federalist Papers? 
In article <2lbeja$6ag@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
|>   Atheists must argue that there is no "God" and no "Free Will".
|>   By God they mean an Anthropomorphic God that they imagine to
|>   have been created in the image of Man but on a grand scale
|>   - and still just as dumb as Man. - That is an easy God to
|>   use as a punching bag and the Atheist never tire of that
|>   exercise.
Knowledgius:  Yeah, that's helping... 
|>   As to Free Will, how can there be a Free Will if everything
|>   is explainable according to the Laws of Physics and Chemistry?
|>   However, consider this: What if there is going on here on
|>   Earth a "Game of the Gods"? (The title of an essay I circulated
|>   among most University Depts of Theology a couple of years ago)
|>   Not a silly hypothesis since the Book of Job is based on one
|>   such "Game".
Knowledgius:  I'm starting to see the light! [Stands] 
|>   Let us assume that what the Egyptians believed (see the opening
|>   paragraphs of Genesis Six) is true.
Knowledgius:  [Jumping up and down in excitement] Oh, yes, let's! 
|>   That just before the sudden      
|>   burst on the scene of the Grand Cultures, the "Sons of God"
|>   took on Human Form, and without disturbing the integrity of the 
|>   System, had "Children with the Daughters of Men" (don't laugh --
|>   yet)  thus creating a New Order of Life called the "Children of
|>   God" part-Man, part-God, with the capabilities to mount a
|>   succession of Grand Cultures and endowed with a God-like 
|>   'Free Will" to make for an interesting "Game" of which the
|>   Sons of God may not even know the outcome.
Knowledgius:  [Stops smiling, squints, stands on one foot, scratches his head] Nope, forget it. I can't deal with it. You almost had me there, but no more. Knowledgius Objectivus, atheist God, is back!

Ferret Boy:  Gasp! No! Publius, what will we do? 
|>   If this is what really happened then a condition of the Game           
|>   would have to be the total absence of a visible influence
|>   of God or the Sons of God - except for the innate awareness
|>   of the existence of the Spiritual Homeland of the Children of
|>   God. Any influence, other than that contained in the DNA
|>   would be like giving someone a puzzle and its solution, side
|>   by side - some "Game"! The "Free Will" (of the Children of God
|>   but -alas - not Homo Sapiens in general) is then to determine
|>   the Fate of all Life on Earth.
Ferret Boy:  Huh?

Knowledgius:  Did you hear me? I said I am back. You may tremble with fear any time now. 
|>   If you want to know how the "Game" is supposed to turn out'
|>   see Chapter Twenty of the Book of Revelation.
Knowledgius:  [Imitating Publius' voice] "Oh, no, Rodent Tike --"

Ferret Boy:  That's Ferret Boy!

Knowledgius:  "-- it's my nemesis the God of Atheism. Let's run away or something!" Publius? Are you getting any of this? 
|>   And the projected
|>   End is not to my liking - a supposed disaster guaranteed by 
|>   the discovery of "The Fire of God".
Knowledgius:  Boo! Boo! Excuse me, arch-enemy of all that is Holy right here. Ferret Boy, you got a pen? I could maybe leave him a note or something?

Ferret Boy:  I'll not even let you touch the Fountain Pen of All that is Good and Right, Vile Atheist! 
|>   I insist on my "Free Will"
|>   and I say what we have is not a Prophecy of the Inevitable
|>   but a Projection of the Contingent.
Knowledgius:  What we have here is a rambling idiot. [Walks up to Publius and shoves him] Anybody home? [Kicks some dirt on Publius' shoes]

Ferret Boy:  You kicked dirt on Publius! Vile Scum of Self-Directed Consciousness!

Knowledgius:  Yeah? Whatdaya gonna do about it, huh?

Ferret Boy:  [Pulls forth pocked anti-nomologizer] I'm going to fry you!

Knowledgius:  Oops! [Runs for cover]

[Several blasts of pure anti-logic issue from the anti-nomologizer, barely missing the fleeing Atheist God.] 
|>   Although the Prophecy
|>   is right on track, I won't give up. That accounts for my postings.
|>   You Atheists figure real big in the Prophecy so before you laugh
|>   check this out.
Ferret Boy:  Who are you talking to? The Atheist left. 
|>   Oh - before I forget, Genesis One, part of Genesis Six and most
|>   of the Book of Job were written by an Egyptian Moses. Genesis Two
|>   and the rest were written by a Mesopotamian Mose. (See Sigmund
|>   Freud:"Moses-Monotheism".)
|>   Have fun with this one -    PUBLIUS
Ferret Boy:  Am I suppossed to infer our plan of action from that?

[Does Publius have an even more clever and wonderous plan than the last time? Tune in next time and see!] 
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
  |                                            |
  | The mysterious UNIX paradigm:              |
  |                                            |
  |   "No design is better than a bad design." |
  |                             - Ken Thompson |
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