Red Iguana Dawn
Episode 18: No God - No Free Will (continued)
From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA DAWN, Episode 18: NO GOD - NO FREE WILL
Date: 14 Mar 1994 22:31:21 GMT
Message-ID: <2m2ojpINN7p7@CS.UTK.EDU>
[In our last episode the Champion of James Madison,
that Veritable Yokefellow of Goodness, Ignorer of
the Feckless Atheistic Drivel, and Speaker of the
Vatic Truths, the Mighty and Magnificent Wearer of
the Red Iguana Suit, PUBLIUS, and his Ever-Faithful
companion Ferret Boy had escaped the Atheist Base
of Operations and returned to the Cleverly Hidden
Ferret Van.]
[Ferret Boy searches for the keys as Publius twists
dials and punches buttons on the Ferret-Communicator.
The device humms to life, and the many screens of the
Ferret Van fill with the face of Diane Westerfield...]
Diane: Hello, this is Diane.
[Publius points an accusing finger at Diane's nose...]
In article <2lfcco$pig@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
> This proves it! My friends were right - but no!
Diane: I'm not in right now, but if-
> My ego prevailed!
Diane: -you'll leave your name and number-
> I should never have posted
> with an "re:" in front of it!
Diane: -I'll get back to you later. <BEEP>
[Publius, angry at the sustained indifference to his
Tough Questions, punches the button to sever the
connection. After a few seconds of dialtone, Diane's
machine does the same.]
Ferret Boy: [Climbing back into the van] I
couldn't find the keys, so I am going to have
to use the extra key from under the fender.
> Let's hope I profitted from this experience.
Ferret Boy: Don't lose hope, Mighty Red Iguana
of Religiosity! We'll beat those Atheists
(spit, vomit, hack) yet!
> It was a waste effort besides, since no one
> came even close to addressing the hypothesis and its
> implications.
Ferret Boy: Uh, what hypothesis is that?
[Publius shakes his fist in the general direction
of the Atheist Base of Operations.]
> - The only plus is the possibility
> some of you may crack a copy (King James version)
> of the Forbidden Book - the Bible. PUBLIUS
Ferret Boy: Those Atheist Scum will never do that!
I'll get the key... [exits van]
[Meanwhile, back at the Atheist Base of Operations...]
Stacy: Well, Dan, your plan for Storming the Pearly
Gates seems to be going quite well. But I haven't
seen John Kress in many chapters. He's my favorite.
I used to dress like him when I was a kid.
Dan: Well, that's becau- hey, what's this?
[Dan holds up a keyring full of keys.]
Stacy: [Grabbing keyring from Dan] Look!
There's a name and address! "If found,
return to Stanley Nizenski, aka Publius,
*** [address excerpted], Florida. Ah!
Now we have the secret identity and
address of our nemesis, Publius!
Dan: We have his keys, too. What should
we do?
Stacy: [Shrugs] Aah, I dunno. [Tosses keys
out window, where they land at the foot of
Atheist God, Knowledgius Objectivus!]
Knowledgius: [Picking up keys] Aaaaaah!
Snicker snicker! [Walks off]
[The Ferret Van leaves the Dreaded island of
Logis, headed toward Publius' Extra-Secret
underwater hideway, the PubeDome! Only minutes
later, a sleek mini-submarine also leaves the
island of Logis, headed in the same direction!]
[What will our Intrepid Heroes do next? Tune
in next time, and see!]
--
-- _Stacy Prowell_______sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
| |
| The mysterious UNIX paradigm: |
| |
| "No design is better than a bad design." |
| - Ken Thompson |
|____________________________________________|
Red Iguana Dawn
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