Red Iguana Dawn

Episode 19: No God - No Free Will (concluded)

From: sprowell@grape.cs.utk.edu (Stacy Prowell)
Subject: RED IGUANA DAWN, Episode 19: NO GOD - NO FREE WILL
Date: 18 Mar 1994 14:30:19 GMT
Message-ID: <2mcdtrINNfg@CS.UTK.EDU>

[When we last left Our Heroes, our Champions of Goodness and Light, our Bastions of Life-Orientation, our Bulwark against the storm of Thinking for Oneself, our Island in the Seas of Rationality, the Wearer of the Bright Fire- Engine-Red Iguana Suit PUBLIUS and his trusty companion, wearer of the Furry Coat FERRET BOY, they had just escaped the Scrofulous Island of Logis, home of the Vile Atheist Base of Operations, where they had been subjected to the Unconstrained Evils of Free Thought and Mock Sweedish. We join them now, as the Ferret Van returns to the Island. Why are our Heroes returning to the Abode of Wickedness? Let's join them and find out...]

Ferret Boy: [As he drives the Ferret Van onto the blighted shore] Okay, we're back.

[Beside his trusty companion, Publius works the Ferret Communicator. The face of Diane Westerfield appears on the many screens of the Ferret Van.]

Diane: Hello?

In article <2lfdr6$147b@inca.gate.net>, publius@inca.gate.net (Publius) writes:
> I'm Back but only because I forgot something.

Ferret Boy: What are you doing? Why are you telling the Atheist Rabble that we are back? This will make it impossible to sneak into the Atheist compound and find the keys!

Diane: [Scowling] Hey, aren't you that loon that keeps calling the Skeptic Hotline and insisting that Atheism is a religion?

> Yes I am one of the "Children of God".

Diane: You're an idiot.

> That sure beats being just another member
> of the 'Animal Kingdom' - as you Atheists
> characterize yourselves.  PUBLIUS

Diane: Ppppbt! [Breaks connection]

[Several atheists led by Arch-Atheists Stacy and Dan charge from the woods. Stacy is carrying an orange cat in a basket.]

Dan: [Breathing heavily from the run across the island] Is this really necessary?

Stacy: There they are! We have them now! This time I will put you in my most vile creation ever, the Contradiction Pointer-Outer!

Ferret Boy: Okay, new plan. We just forget the keys and have the locks changed. What do you say to that?

Ferret Boy: I'll take that as a yes.

[The Ferret Van turns around and the tires spit sand as it returns to the waters.]

Stacy: [Shaking his fist angrily] And don't come back!

Dan: Look at this. Now I have sand in my hair. Let's get back to Storming the Pearly Gates, okay? It's simpler and there's not as much personal physical discomfort in it.

Orithyia: Meow!

Dan: Right.

[Storming the Pearly Gates?!? Do Atheists hold nothing sacred? Will Publius have the locks changed? Will he call a professional locksmith, or just buy new doorknobs? And just what has Knowledgius, Repugnant Atheist God, done with Publius' keys? Tune in next time and see!]

-- 
-- _Stacy Prowell_____________sprowell@utkcs.utk.edu_
  |                                                  |
  | mutter mutter Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka    |
  | mumble mumble mutter mumble who are they anyway? |
  | mutter mumble mumble mutter...                   |
  |__________________________________________________|

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